AIR PODS
Initially I was against these, strictily out of spit. I was angry at Apple for taking away the headphone jack from the Iphone, then USB ports from the new Mac Books. Also the Iphone have been a real let down for the last four or so releases. I'm not really sure what I am expecting, hologram phone? Phone from Her? Phone that you swallow and connects directly to you brain? One thing for sure, it wasn't just taking things away and pretending to be visionaries. When Steve Jobs took away the CD/DVD drive to make the MacAir everyone lost their minds, then it turned out he was right, no one missed them. But here's the difference, that was Steve Jobs. These new jokers, are trying to make waves and lead the industry by being provocative for provocative's sake. They're all a bunch of posers, Job posers. "Woah this laptop has less then it did before? Cool, so you're saying I only need five dongles to plug in my flash drive? Neat I love dongles, especially Apple branded ones that cost a hundred bucks each" And don't get me started on the IphoneX notch, Jobs would have beaten the design team with a tire iron if they tried to pull that shit while he was still alive. The only reason it's there is to make room for the face detection that literally no one asked for. They should have spent all that time and money on developing my swallow phone. "Introducing The Iphone 11sw, do you swallow?"
Getting back to the Air pods. They are silky smooth game changers. Not having to untangle your earphones every time alone is worth the 139 bucks also the case is so adorable. The three reasons I bought them were #1 - My buddy lent me his on a plane ride and that peaked my interest. But I was still mad at Apple so I listened to them with an angry face, like when you're mad at some one and they try to make you laugh, and it's funny but you need to maintain you anger. #2 - The earphone jack on my 6s got all filled with crud and stopped working. Basically that crud upgraded my phone to a 7s, burn. # 3 - There's a guy at work that I don't like, and he had them one day. I decided he was really making a spectacle of taking them on and off, so out of jealousy I decided, if that POS had them I couldn't be walking around with tangled, dirt covered wires hanging from my ears.
And no, they don't fall out when you're exercising (it took me 7 attempts to spell "exercising" close enough for spell check to guess, that is a bad sign for a lot of reasons.) Apple needs to make a PSA informing the nation they don't fall out. They connect to your phone no sweat and you can even quickly switch between your phone, laptop, and your Apple TV (I bet your didn't even think about the Apple TV possibilities.) And double taping does stuff, like you can program say the left ear tap to pause, or open Siri. Which for two seconds makes you feel like you're in Her, until you realize Siri is completely useless. If you're working, like say on an invention or something. You can walk around the entire room and leave your phone on the desk. I tested it and I can walk from my cubicle to the coffee room, about 60 feet. Which I do a lot because that's where they put out the free snacks.
SWEAT PANT SHORTS
What isn't there to love about sweat pant shorts. They're so comfy and have a built in cooling system, the shorts part. And for some reason they feel just a little bit classier than normal sweat pants. I'd feel weird walking around in public in sweat pants, but in sweat pant shorts, I don't know it doesn't feel as shit baggy. They're the best hangover pants too, because they're not too hot to wear in bed, and perfectly acceptable to answer the door to the pizza guy in. And there's nothing worse than having to tug on last night's smokey floor jeans in a panic, terrified that if you don't answer the door in time the pizza guy is going to leave.
TEXTURE
Texture is the Netflix of Magazines. You pay $9.99 a month and that gives you access to unlimited magazines on your Ipad. As a magazine junkie this service is heaven. There is nothing I love more in this world than getting on a plane, putting my earphones in and chugging magazines. I'll slam five magazines front to back, one after the other. No exaggeration, usually it goes, Popular Science, Popular Mechanics, Rolling Stones, Wired, Family Handy Man, Esquire, Entertainment weekly. Afterwards I feel like the all knowing deity of pop culture: Maganisis. I'll know the latest Kendrick Lamar album is out AND thanks to Family Handyman five ways to de-clog my storm drains. When I fly more than twice in a month, I have to go down to the lower tier mags, and it starts to get sad, like Wood Magazine and ugh, Time. Regardless ten bucks a month is less than two mags. So it's worth every penny. Also it allows you to read the weird magazines you've always been curious about but never could justify actually buying them like : Cat Fancy, Cottage Life, All about Beer, Birds and Blooms, Yacht Living, Men's health, Abc Soaps In-Depth.
I've long defined a big part of my personality on the things I like: Snacks, movies, gadgets, steam'n but recently a fifth has started to show up like a new bud in your friends group. Eventually you're like "You know what I really like Paul Z, he's a good dude. We should hang out with him more" and then before you know it, you can't imagine your group of friends without P-dawg. That's how I feel about puzzl'n, I've been really into it this year, but I think I've always known I was a puzzler, like I'd see magazines at some one's house, and flip through them with confused curiosity.
BIGGEST BEAN BAG CHAIR ON AMAZON
Sometimes I'm at work and all I need is to just lie down for ten minutes. I tried lying down on the couch in the mom's quiet room at work but one time I was taking a sweet little hang over nap and an actual mom walked in, needless to say it was an awkward moment. Once I was banned from the mom's room I convinced my boss we needed a "comfy creative space" in our drab grey office cube. I really sold it as a revolutionary idea that she could use on her resume later. She let me expense a bean bag chair, so I bought the biggest one I could find, the box could barely fit through the doorway and made a huge spectacle at the office. All I really wanted it for was hung over naps. Seriously get one. Because you know what you need when you're filled with hungover anxiety. The only thing that will make you feel better? Exactly. To curl up on Gramace's tummy and get a big ol' hug.
"Hey buddy come curl up on ol' Grimace's belly and I'll make all the fear go away. Don't worry no one will remember that embarrassing thing you did last night, they we're all drunk too."
-Apologies for the typo's etc. I'm very hung over right now posting this from the Mac store in a crowded mall. Need Grimace's warm embrace badly. Heading to the Elmwood spas, thorough review to come.